Who has ever been really heart been heart broken and didn't know what to do?

who has ever been really heart been heart broken and didn't know what to do? so ive been going out with this boy for a whole year n some months. before we finally broke up b4 that i had broke up with him three times i mean he gave me reason tho. But we were so in love i just wanted to brake up with him to miss me n come back n fix things. so after we broke up i had stoped talking to him for a whole month. After that we started talking again hanging out doing stuff couples do, but i would always ask why we not together if we are good again but he never answer. He avoid the question ever time that i would ask and if he liked someone he would say no, unless its someone i liked before you but i never really thought about that answer. Anyways so this was going on for about a couple of months then one day i just decided to ask is there some one else, i asked because something about him was changing we was texting he avoid the question n i kept askin n askin just to get an answer he wouldnt say anything. so he decided to act confused then long story short he said yes. after that i was shaking idk why i was just sooo hurt i have never ever been hurt this much in my whole life about anything, i could believe it and he hid it from me, so basically he was cheating on her with me, and before me and him when out we use to be friends i rememeber he told me how he like her, but he ended up going out with me instead, one point he said it was his x he left to go out with me then another its the girl he been use 2 like, so idk which 1 to believe or if hes talking about the same girl, because idk her but they both go 2 the same school. Anyways when i found out i really thought i was going to die i was mentally breaking down, stoped eating every1 noticed how much weight ive lost n how unhappy i am i had deleted him from facebook everything for like 1 day or 2, and when i go back on he had wrote me a whole paragraph how he cant believe i dont ever want him in my life he dont want things to be like this he love me blah blah blah, so im like w.e i couldnt handle it so i wrote him n decided to be his friend again. We knew each other since o8 and went out early 09. Like im always going to sleep crying especially when i heard about the other girl, i had asked is she better then me what does she have that i dont, hes like no shes not better then you and ur my first love always will at the end i would want me and you to end up 2gether. I do believe he love me and i love him so much he even asked me not 2 throw away our memories even stuff that he got me i still wear and its the same for him. not to long after i found out about the girl we met up in person talked about everything even tho i was hurt i tryed 2 be understanding, so yesterday we was together i asked him to prom he said no, because it would be fare for her, i already feel that he is growin feelings for her especially how they see each other in school everyday and it makes me sad but what i dotn get is you love me yet mess around with me but wont go to prom with me because u have a girl..does this make sense?, i was hurt but yet again i have to be understanding because he has a girl, yesterday he got mad at me because i said we should probably stop talkin then n chilin since u wnna say u have a girl and stuff even tho i didnt mean it so he got mad how we r in lvoe with each other but yet i wnna stop talkin 2 him but we got good and was just chillin and talked about it, hes like he dont wnna see me go to prom with sum1 else because i know if he didnt have a good he would Embarrass him self on the dance floor just for me even tho he doesnt dance. im like but if u loved me like u said u wud come 2 prom with me cuz even friends ho to pro together...but anyways so after we chilled n went home n said i love u 2 each other then he was jokin around askin if his girl was 2 see us right now cuz we was holdin hands wat would i say i ask i would just laugh he said he wud b like im his friends i was just like wow. obviously ims till in love with him so much n i dont let other guys in my life cuz of that, so should i just wait 4 him in the future like he said in the future he would want to make me his baby mama and just still chill while i still talk 2 other boys and be in relationships if i want but nuthin 2 serious or what because i am very confuse and hes suppose 2 hit me up for me 2 call him later on 2nite idk how dats goin 2 happen. i can wait for him in the future but it just hurts knowin everythin we been thru n every feelin we have 4 each other im suppose 2 ignore it while we hang out and mess around but at the end of the day know he got her still and probably is falling for her...i just feel like crying right now, all i have is just faith i guess oh yea n i invited 2 this show in my school next week friday he said hes going to come but yeaa...smh....??????